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After Louie passed, I spent time thinking about how I wanted to participate in rescue work.
A brand new rescue organization – one that rescued all breeds, allowed me to join their group. I was little more than a bystander – soaking up information and taking notes on the dynamics that are sometimes present in intensely emotional, highly passionate, rapid-paced, and occasionally conflict-ridden organizations.
I learned about how dogs were brought “up to date” on their annual vet visits and the minimum requirements. The work that went into assuring really good adoption placements was evident – when the work wasn’t done, adoption placements often failed.
I began to understand the workings of municipal shelters and all the issues that were present at that time.
It was a lot to absorb.
Several months went by before I finally chose to foster again. I spent those months really researching dog rescue organizations. It was time well spent. Breed-specific rescue, I determined, was a better fit for me, and my focus shifted to choosing which Boston terrier organization (I had access to 6!) matched my needs and my values.
Lovey, a Fearful Foster Dog
Lovey must have been waiting for me when I contacted my chosen rescue agency to offer my volunteer services. Thankfully, they approved me as a foster home, and I arranged to pick Lovey up from her current foster placement same day.
She’d arrived at the rescue about 4 months prior. A beautiful girl, just 3 years old with soft, almond-shaped eyes, and beefy jowls that you wanted to kiss and love. She was a classic Boston terrier, near-perfect in her markings. Her facial expressions were stoic – she was reserved and contemplative. She was a thinker.
Per the intake report, Lovey’s owner surrendered her because of concern for her safety. A family member recently moved back home and behaved unkindly toward Lovey. The rescue placed Lovey in the only foster home they had available; a single male living in a condominium. By the time Lovey arrived at this foster home, I wonder if she’d thought long and hard about her recent experiences and decided that she wasn’t going to like men ever again.
So Lovey hid under the dining room table, and that’s where she stayed. For 4 months. She ate there, slept there, and observed her human from there. Her love of leash walks would override her fears and when her foster dad grabbed her leash and harness off of the hook, she was all too eager to let him put on her walking gear. She was perfect on leash, happy to be on the go, even with a man following her at the other end of her tether. The walk over, she’d leap up the stairs, wait as he unclipped her from her harness, and then walk under the dining table and settle in.
I wonder if she was eager to walk or eager to escape.
Bringing Home A Fearful Foster Dog
When I met her, she was indifferent to me. But why would she assume I was different, just because I’m female? She’d only known her owner, life upset her world and she was now surrounded by strangers. This little thinker decided that she would decide who she loved, not the other way around.
The foster dad and I shared information, I gathered up Lovey’s things, loaded them into the car, and made the 20-minute drive home. She seemed calm but attentive, watching through the glass at the world whizzing by.
It was Thanksgiving weekend and the weather was unseasonably warm. Windows and doors were open to let fresh air in. No one provided me with any coaching on how to bring a dog into my home, much less a fearful one. I knew enough to put my two Boston terriers up so Lovey could explore the house without my dogs being overly friendly and intrusive. The patio door was open, the screen door closed, and I placed her in the center of the living room.
She ran toward the door and punched through the screen, running full-speed into the yard.
I don’t know how I caught her, or how long it took, but I did and brought her back indoors and secured the room. I’ve never been more grateful for a secure, fenced-in yard.
I Was Not Prepared For Fostering A Fearful Dog
I called my dog trainer. Totally in over my head, I knew that she could give me quick, transferrable skills and exercises to help me begin to help Lovey without overwhelming the dog. I would have called the rescue, first, but – hey. The guy who had her for four months had done that and he hadn’t made headway with their experience and guidance. I knew Lovey (and I) needed some professional coaching.
“Everyone Needs A Coach”– Bill Gates
Even with the trainer, Lovey would prove to be a hard sell. She stared at those pieces of chicken and cheese, contemplating this-yet-another stranger and questioning their intention. Clearly, we were on Lovey’s timeline, not the other way around. Lovey would make sure she was the one deciding when we were okay.
With great skill, the trainer did get Lovey to offer a few behaviors during the session, gave me more than my money’s worth of information, and shared the value of “nothing in life is free” training.
It seems a simple thing to open the door when your dog is standing there or plopping down the food bowl at dinnertime without expectation, but adding a “sit, wait’ rule changes the dynamics of your relationship with your dog. Not an “alpha” or “pack leader” dynamic, but one of communication and relationship. Both dog and owner exchanging information and understanding.
Expecting Lovey to follow a few simple rules would also help her “get out of her head” – think less and connect with her human.
Fearful Dogs Get To Decide What’s Safe.
Slowly over the next few weeks, Lovey brightened a bit, began to play a little, and most importantly, began to trust me with new experiences I offered her. Leash walks, trips to the hardware store, or just sitting at the park, people watching. We practiced her new skills every day. If she told me she was scared, we stopped and instead, did things that didn’t frighten her. Her confidence grew over time and she began to show her personality.
Lovey Was More Prepared For Adoption Than I Was!
For 3 months I worked with Lovey, and she never wavered in her fear of men. She needed a female-only home. I assumed it would take longer than usual to find a specific home for her. Ha! A week after I carefully wrote her bio and uploaded really nice, professional-like photos of her that the rescue notified me of a perfect adoption application received, and they were interested in my Lovey!
Two women read her biography and knew she was a perfect fit for their family. We talked for hours over the course of several weeks as we waited for schedules to align (and honestly, my heart to get prepared) so we could meet for Lovey’s adoption day.
Eeek! Adoption Day!
Lovey the thinker was unflapped on her adoption day – confident but cautious, always true to herself! I, wanting everything to be perfect, needed my own reassurance that everything was fine, the new family was ready and able to take the reins. My first adoption was hard! I said my final goodbyes, got into my car, drove around the corner, pulled over, and completely fell apart. My tears weren’t of sadness or regret, or even happiness. (although I was thrilled with her new family!) I’d devoted myself to this little dog’s recovery, and she was ready and gone. The emotional release caught me somewhat off-guard, I just wasn’t prepared for it!
Once A Foster, Always Family.
That was about 6 years ago. I regularly hear from her family and receive pictures of her with updates. She’s a little more frosty-faced, even more confident and settled, and very in-tune with her mamas. Lovey (now named Stella) is, and will always be, hesitant in certain situations. She looks to her humans for assistance when she needs it, and they never fail her.
Perfect match.
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Resources
The Cautious Canine – a wonderful book on how to help a fearful dog overcome.
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