The last time Carter and I visited my family, the visit didn’t go very well. In fact, his behavior caught me off guard, and I had to take a step back.
I want to share with you what I learned so that you can help fearful dogs meet strangers.
Carter got a do-over. I took Carter back to my family’s home and this time, our introductions were successful.
I’m back in L.A. (Lower Alabama) for a few weeks to join my sisters in tackling phase two of ‘decluttering’ my father’s belongings. Two weekends ago, we benefitted from the county’s “Amnesty Day” where the landfill would accept items without charge.
We took 13 truckloads.
I’m not happy we contributed so much to the landfill and personally, I try to live a bit cleaner, however – trash is trash. There was not one item of value in our load.
Dad was much more relaxed during this clean-out. He still clutched a few “treasures” but those paled in comparison to what he allowed us to take.
Carter Gets A Do-Over - Facilitating Successful Introductions
Back in December during our last family work day, Carter went with me and experienced a really bad day. His stress manifested itself in me not being able to successfully introduce this fearful dog to strangers.
You can read about his bad day here.
This time, I took Carter with me for a brief visit instead of an all-day, you’ll-need-to-be-penned-sometimes work day. There were many variables that made this day’s introductions a big success.
There was less 'new.'
Last time, there were 9 strangers, and even though not all of them came near Carter, everyone’s presence added up and Carter was overwhelmed with so much unfamiliar.
This time, only my mom and dad were present.
Last time, Otis (my dog) was also present and stressed, as well as my nephew’s stressed German Shepherd/Boxer dog that was active and making noise. It’s an awful lot to ask a normal dog to process, not to mention a fearful dog.
This time, only Charlie the yorkiepoo was in the room. He’s 13 years old, very small and very quiet.
There was less movement.
Last time, these “strangers” were moving and standing and approaching and making noise. Carter does not like the unpredictable, especially when it’s close up. A couple of times, strangers approached Carter too fast and, with Carter unable to move away, Carter did the only thing he thought he could do: he snarled and snapped at hands.
(Read more about dog bites here.)
Last time, I was also stressed and not quite on my game. “not quite” is a little generous. I wasn’t clued in at all. Reflecting back, there were a couple of moments I mismanaged and I should have had a better handle on the situation. For example, in a busy kitchen, I should have either a) chosen a quieter room or b) had my back to the wall so that no person could approach Carter from behind. I knew all of these techniques going in, I was too stressed and had no business putting a stressed dog in a situation such as this. I know better!
This time, I asked my mom and dad to remain seated in their individual chairs during our introductions. Charlie stayed beside mom’s thigh, his favorite place.
There was more time.
Last time, there was chatter and time limits and multi-tasking. We were all in a hurry. Carter didn’t have any influence on the activity, (except when he delivered a scary snap!) and I didn’t create an environment where Carter could ease into introductions.
This time, Carter was in charge. He drove the approach, he drove the interaction, he drove the pace. I simply managed all of the other moving parts and paid attention to Carter’s subtle communications.
Bottom Line?
Last time, I failed to create and maintain for Carter an environment where he might experience a sense of safety and security during introductions. Without choices and with his efforts to communicate ignored or missed, Carter delivered serious warning behaviors.
This time, I created and maintained an environment where Carter, still feeling insecure, had CHOICES to appropriately advance and retreat at his will and timeframe. As a result, introductions were slow(ish) but successful.
The Introductions
No sooner had Carter and I settled on the sofa, Carter looked around and let everyone know he felt uncomfortable and unsure. He delivered a quick, audible growl.
It wasn’t vicious or low and long. He didn’t curl his lips or show his teeth. It was a “give me a minute, stay over there” growl. By experience, I knew he’d snap at hands if we ignored his plea.
Carter leaned into my upper body. I allowed this for a little while and then I placed him on the floor, at my feet. He leaned against my legs and delivered another quick growl. He wasn’t ready.
Mom and Dad and I continued our conversations, Carter observing, leaning into me. When Mom talked, Carter growled more.
Carter seemed unflapped by Charlie, the 9-pound yorkiepoo. If you’ve been following Carter’s story, you remember Carter was listed as “dog aggressive”.
Greeting Mom was the hardest
Mom talks with her hands and her movements worried Carter. Every time she would outstretch her arms in gesture, He would growl or lean in to me, or both. With her hands in her lap or at her side, he would calm.
Carter would approach Dad first and come back to mom.
Carter Loved my Dad
Dad, sitting the furthest away from all of us decided to join Carter and me on the sofa. He didn’t sit too close, but he definitely narrowed the gap between us!
Carter didn’t growl at this change which was surprising to me.
Dad, keeping his arms close to his body, offered his hand to Carter, palm down. Dad also averted his gaze, and didn’t maintain eye contact with Carter.
Carter took a sniff. backed up. Then, he approached for another sniff and lingered a bit. Dad carefully gave Carter a quick scratch on his chest then stopped. Carter’s whole countenance changed and he piled on to Dad’s lap for more of that! He wagged his tail and painted dad’s face with kisses.
Carter returned to Mom and this time had no hesitancy in greeting her, either! I kept a rein on him as he greeted her otherwise he would’ve launched into her lap as well. Charlie was still in the chair sitting beside mom and I felt it best to give Charlie a little respect, you know.
More Practice Needed
We will visit the family a few more times during my stay on the coast so that Carter can practice – after all, Mom and Dad are still strangers to a degree and I want to see if Carter regresses a bit and if we have to repeat any of the above. I think we will be fine, but practice is always good when honing your skills, right?
In other news, Carter is doing much better in participating in parallel activities with Otis. In this case, parallel activities are when two dogs engage in their own activity while near each other, without interacting. We can now go on walks around the yard with both dogs in closer proximity, and Carter is no longer growling at Otis when Otis gets on the sofa.
We are making slow but steady progress while we wait for Carter’s forever family to find him! Whoever they are, they are in for a treat – Carter is a great dog!
